New cinematic shows evidence of the Loch Ness Monster! (Or ducks, probably)

One of the fundamental principles of the scientific method is that if new evidence shows that you are wrong, you should admit it and update your world view.

Well, we admit it: we were wrong. The Loch Ness Monster is realand now there is proof.

Look that? That V shape in the water? That’s Nessie. Or at least, it could be, according to the British couple who captured the possibly slightly underwhelming footage.

“I really don’t know what it was in the water. It was something big. I don’t think the video matches how big it was, ”her wife, who, like her husband, prefers to remain anonymous, told the Daily Mail.

“From what we could measure, it was between 20 and 30 feet long,” he said.

If you, like us, have a hard time distinguishing that level of detail from the video, fear not – the couple insists it was more impressive in person. Apparently, the “creature” “pushed itself with something”, perhaps a fin or some kind of limb, which it used “like an oar”.

The beast also appears to have the shape of Nessie’s plesiosaurid body, complete with “lumps or humps or whatever” that “kept disappearing underwater,” explained the woman.

Now, some of you naysayers out there might point to the many, many instances where previous “sightings” of the shy cryptid have turned out to be more mundane examples of local wildlife, such as seals, fish, or check notes * records.

But according to Gary Campbell, keeper of the official Loch Ness Monster Registry, this is one of the best evidence I’ve ever seen in favor of the monster’s existence.

“There have been two or three really good videos in the past,” Campbell told The Mail. “But this is definitely up there with the best of them. When something like this comes along that is truly inexplicable, then that’s great.

Of course, with most scientific breakthroughs of this magnitude, you’d expect a pretty rigorous peer review. Although Campbell has the experience – he has devoted the last 26 years of his life to recording sightings of the Scottish resident aged 1,500 to 180,000,000 – the couple welcomes further scientific scrutiny, telling the Mail that “definitely. they would love someone to analyze the video ”.

“If it helps someone figure out what’s down there, it would be a real pleasure,” the woman told the Mail. “We would be delighted”.

If so, we have great news for the couple, says zoologist and author Dr. Darren Naish Monster Hunt: Cryptozoology and the Reality Behind the Mythshas in fact analyzed the video.

“I think they’re probably ducks,” he said She said of the movie.

Despite the obvious fact that there is no official register of Loch Ness ducks, Naish told The Mail that the video showed “nothing but unidentifiable dots on the water.”

“There is no indication that we are seeing anything particularly large or unusually shaped,” he said. “Based on the appearance of the boats from the same approximate position and distance, the objects have to be small – I estimate less than 50cm [19.7 inches] long. I see no reason why they can’t be birds.

But what about the giant V, Naish? Surely it couldn’t be caused by a duck?

“The trails they leave on the surface look interesting,” Naish told the Mail, “but such trails are common on the lake surface when conditions are right.”

Good… Well. Let’s say the jury is still out on the existence of a lone Plesiosaurus that somehow survived in a Scottish loch for millions of years, spending time peeking out of the water just enough to let a few random tourists take a picture. blurry that looks, through their own fault, suspiciously like a toy submarine with a sculpted Nessie head glued to the top.

Oh good. At least this time it wasn’t a giant whale cock.

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